Oh, so stress is to blame for our life ruts.
DUHHHHH!!!!! Scientists sure do spend a lot of time trying to tell us shit we already know. Those are all the S-types on the Myers-Briggs scale who gotta have “evidence” for everything. God, they bug me. All us “N” people know you don’t need proof, just a sound gut instinct.
Anyway, this is slightly old news, but nonetheless relevant from the NYT. A few choice excerpts:
- We’re lousy at recognizing when our normal coping mechanisms aren’t working. Our response is usually to do it five times more, instead of thinking, “Maybe it’s time to try something new.”
- Though perseverance can be an admirable trait and is essential for all success in life, when taken too far it becomes perseveration — uncontrollable repetition — or simple perversity. “If I were to try to break into the world of modern dance, after the first few rejections the logical response might be, practice even more. But after the 12,000th rejection, maybe I should realize this isn’t a viable career option.”
So, la-di-da – for those to whom it matters, I now have scientific evidence to support my recent revelations that a) running my own business sucks ass for a number of reasons and maybe all these hurdles I’ve endured this year aren’t so much tests of perseverance as much as giant red flags telling me to either detour or make a big fucking U-turn, and b) dating also sucks ass and needs to be abandoned for the same reasons.
And P.S. – with regard to the latter, I want to note that, in the seven months I have been back in Seattle, I’ve employed a couple of new strategies in this area, precisely to escape the rut I’d been in for years, which was clearly not working: 1) trying online dating (which resulted in two dates in one month, including this nightmare) and 2) being set up by friends (which resulted in five additional dates – wait, no, make that two, considering I was stood up by THREE different people). Yes, that’s seven dates in seven months – an average of one per month, nearly half of which resulted in me sitting there thoughtfully chewing the inside of my cheek. Of course, what’s most disconcerting to me is not the “rejection” – because you can’t be rejected, much less take something personally, when people don’t even know you – but the lack of respect and common courtesy. I sat there thinking, “REALLY?! Is this what it’s come to? You’re going to just NOT SHOW UP? You seriously can’t spare an hour or two of your day? How are you going to explain this to the friend who set us up? How old are we? And WHERE are we – Mars, where you could realistically just DISAPPEAR into the ether and call it a legitimate excuse?!”
BUT – there is good news. The lab rats who unwillingly participated in this study appeared to bounce back from their rut and re-engage their ability to make sound decisions after a four-week vacation.
Screw the business. Screw relationships. Just give me one round-trip ticket to Hawaii/London/Paris, please. That’s right, ONE. UNO. EINS. SOLO. SINGLE. Just give me my laptop and some faraway place where I won’t encounter a current client, a potential client, or someone trying to set me up on a date.