Monthly Archives: January 2010

Greeting cards so funny – you’ll spew champagne through your schnoz

Thanks to Grace at Design*Sponge for tipping me off to Old Tom Foolery’s line of headline greeting cards. (BTW, while we’re on the topic, another fave of mine is oplusd, which stands for Offensive + Delightful…sorta like your present company lippy blogstress.)

In honor (er, horror) of the encroaching V-Day holiday, might I suggest the first sentiment below.

Please. Like it’s not true.

Amen, E. Jean!

From the February 2010 issue of Elle:

Dear E. Jean: What the heck is wrong with men? I was supposed to go on a first date with a guy tomorrow. He just Tweeted to firm up plans. Then he drops this bomb: Can he crash at my place in case he has too much to drink? – Princess Daisy

Daisy, my dear: Here’s a hint: Whenever a chap reveals in fewer than 140 characters that he’s a douche, a mooch, and a boozer, cancel the date. P.S. If you don’t believe me, wait till you see him drunk.

Nicopedia conclusion: Douchemoochboozer is my new favorite word.

The Conan Story – as told by Hong Kong News

Apparently this is for reals.

Too bad the whole saga is for reals too.

Props to the peeps in HK.

I’m Architype Van Doesburg

Emotional. Assertive. Progressive. Disciplined.

“That all beings – and all letters – are created equal.” Indeed, my father criticizes my handwriting because all my letters are the exact. same. size.

Van Doesburg = cubism + geometry + Bauhaus + primary colors + simplicity. Hi, have any of you seen my house?! SPOT ON. My friend Kurt doesn’t call me “Ninety Degree Angle Nicole” for nothin’.

BTW, Van Doesburg created this font in…no shit…1919. 19 being “my” number, as many of you know.

Which type are you? (Password is character.) Go on, don’t be shy. Report back.

P.S. Thank you, Pentagram, for never failing to blow my mind.

Who is Jay Leno f-ing at NBC?

Seriously – someone tell me how a man who was given his pink slip SIX YEARS AGO managed to not only finagle himself a new show, but then get his old show BACK (essentially) after FAILING in his current timeslot?! And how a network that made a name for itself by giving programs time to develop (Seinfeld, The Office, Late Night with C. O’B), and thus succeed beyond anyone’s wildest wet dream, has forgotten this critical element of its legacy?

HUH?! You tell me how this is possible.

And then imagine if you were Conan and had uprooted your ENTIRE STAFF AND FAMILY (!!!!) to the other side of the country – only to have the network that promised you the world (again, SIX YEARS AGO) and even built you a BRAND-NEW STUDIO suddenly rain explosive diarrhea all over your parade.

There aren’t enough Ws, Ts, or Fs on my keyboard to express the incredulousness.

I’m with you, Conesie. Take your fabulously brilliant, exceptionally funny gingerhead to Fox and tell NBC to take a spin on your middle finger.