Monthly Archives: December 2009

And for 2010….less of the high pot man

I hear you snickering at the mention of “high pot.” But those of you who are/were a corporate slave know the reference. With all the things we resolve TO DO in the new year, I think it’s a pretty swell idea to also set intentions for what we resolve NOT to do. For me, it’s less of this, as excerpted from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love (thanks Jules for the timely reminder):

“I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung onto the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”

Now for the TO DO: I resolve to turn my optimism inward more often. I hope you do the same in this new year, this new decade. Wishing you many blessings, much love, and the realization of your own potential in 2010.

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And y’all wonder why I left NYC

See it and weep, people. That shit ain’t fake. And in case that’s not enough goodness for you, here’s another mug full o’ holiday cheer.

Gee, I miss the subway.

It’s not just the internet that’s killing advertising

Consider:

  • Women make 80% of all consumer decisions.
  • 70% of women feel marketers “don’t get them.”
  • 35% of women are actually offended by advertising targeting them. (Ahem – it’s not just me.)

Now hear this:

  • 20% of industrial designers are women.
  • 3% of ad agency creative directors are women.

A step in the right direction:

Wrapping gifts with JF

He’s funny, domestic, educational, wears great sweaters – and hey – let’s not forget that crotch shot in acid-washed jeans. Eat your heart out, Martha.

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Words of hope for an almost-new year

From Mary Oliver to the world – and from Jules to me to you. Merry, merry.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.

My heart goes out to Alexa

Thank God she’s OK.

Dearest Alexa, in reading what you posted on your MySpace page, I must reassure you – honey, I have BEEN there. Am there. So many of us are. Indeed, it is a difficult dating world. You are DEFINITELY not alone there. I HATE it. It’s awful and brutal and can destroy your trust in others completely. I’ve had so many jarring, jaw-dropping experiences – and while I take only a few of them personally, they’ve all made me question the “goodness” of men. Even common courtesy, respect for others, and considering the consequences of your actions – basic pillars of  DECENCY – are lacking. I know the reverse is true as well – many men asking if there are any good women out there – but somehow the right people keep meeting the wrong people, time and time again. There are lessons to be learned through this, though I can’t yet articulate them.

It is a rough world when you’re single – rougher than I ever expected it would be. Especially for us homebodies/workaholics, for whom “going out” is equivalent to a root canal. Some of the most genuine, beautiful, warm-hearted people I know are single, mainly because they’re looking for a real connection and not just attention or validation. The latter is easy to get – a night of meaningless sex, a drinks date. If that’s all you want, you can find it. But it’s those of us who have experienced real love – and want it again – that feel lost. And it doesn’t help to be surrounded by couples and have people repeatedly cancel plans with you (it happened to me THREE times last week), which just makes you feel more rejected, more alone, and now – tada! – you also get yet another evening to yourself. It’s like the cherry on your lonely heart sundae. Maybe a night alone is a treat for people in a marriage or who have kids, but it’s really not for those of us who live (and work) alone. Believe me, I’m an only child, so I enjoy my own company, but no one wants to spend nearly 100% of their time solo. That’s my reality – and has been for the past five years.

I didn’t want to become this jaded person. I don’t want to be this jaded person. I’m working on filing the chip off my shoulder because I’m sure it’s sitting there in head-to-toe Dayglo (OH-so-alluring), but it’s going to take time.

And now, I’m going turn the page over to Alexa. Below is the excerpt from her MySpace blog – sounds frighteningly similar to what I’ve been saying for years, does it not?

“Just men. UGH!!! MEN!!!! I don’t like dating!!! Wish I could be in a relationship again without having to date… I HATE going out!! I’m a homebody and a workaholic… I don’t like going out and drinking to meet men!!! I always have to drag myself out the door to get up the motivation to go out, and when I do go out, I don’t meet anybody!!! Is anybody else finding it a difficult ‘dating world’ out there? I’m so terrible at dating– I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it! And I HATE the game-playing! Can’t stand it. I live in the greatest city in the world and I can’t seem to meet an interesting guy who also happens to be NICE.”

Um….YEAH. She’s the daughter of a supermodel and one of the greatest musicians of our time – and men still play games with her heart. It’s a toolchest out there, I tell ya.

Where future engineers and architects dine

At this kitchen counter covered in Legos, no doubt. Full story here.