Yes, really. Last night, I dreamt that a giant turtle was shagging my shin.
A few interpretations from the interwebs, where everything is of course completely accurate:
“To dream of seeing turtles signifies that an unusual incident will cause you enjoyment and improve your business conditions (radness galore). It also indicates a bright change if you ‘come out of your shell.'”
“To see a turtle in your dream symbolizes wisdom, faithfulness, longevity, and loyalty. It also suggests that you need to take things slow in some situation or relationship in your life (Slow??? A turtle was fucking my femur!!). With time, you will make steady progress.”
“The turtle is a feminine symbol associated with fertility, due to the shape of the turtle’s shell that contains life inside. Turtles are common symbols in the dreams of women who are expecting or actively trying to conceive.” (Uhhh….what?)
“Opportunity for advancement is available to you.” (Hells yeah. Bring it.)
Other thoughts, readers???
P.S. Do NOT send me that disturbing YouTube video of the turtle having sex with a shoe. I had not seen that any time recently, so please…just don’t even go there.
Best host of all time. Suck on that, Alec Baldwin.Vodpod videos no longer available.
Or maybe I could and I’m just too f-ing lazy/unmotivated/worn out. Whatever the dealio, I’m loving Mike Monteiro’s work. Want the whole collection. Pronto presto.
Jules found this in her inbox recently. I’ve cut and pasted it EXACTLY as it appeared.
Yes, it’s fucking hilarious.
And yes – this is what it’s come to.
Nice to meet you,
How are you and how is your work? i hope that all is well with you, My name is miss Happiness ,i know that you may be suprise how i get your email, i got your email today when i was browsing looking for honest partner,then i feel to drop this few line to you , and i will like you to contact me through my email so that we can know each other and exchange our pictures, and we maybecome partner.
Remember the distance does not matter what matters is the love we share with each other.
i am waiting to hear from you soon.
kiss regards Miss Happiness
I’ve found the only way through pain is to admit you have it, feel the anger and sadness and resentment, and have a pity party. I swear that is the only way through. Then you get to the other side and are able to see the silver lining again. But you can’t see the silver lining in the cloud until you acknowledge the cloud itself.