Monthly Archives: November 2010

Hello, Santa???

I guess I have to upgrade to the iPhone 4 just to buy this delicious morsel:

Oh but wait! There’s an equally tasty 3G design to tide me over! (In red & black, no less.) I don’t even care that this shizz is Kate Spade, who normally super bugs.

Mr. Claus, I’ve been really, REALLY good this year. Pinky swear.

Norway, take me away. Please.

This is not just eye candy – this is eye divinity with extra pecans and a dollop of fudge.

I realllllllllly want to crawl into this house in Oslo and bask in the sunshine and gloriousness for days. I may not have inherited the fair coloring of my fair Norwegian people, but I think we can see the similarities when it comes to aesthetic. Except I’m just not quite this cool.

I’m getting a serious hankering for a virgin pilgrimage to the homeland. Like very, very soon.

More fun with wieners on the NYC subway!

You thought I was making up this shizz?!?! I should have gone all batshit whoop-ass like this on the guy who was jerkin’ it on the 1 train while staring at me.

But – all nasty-ass perverts aside – the quote of the night is without a doubt: “Oh this shit’s goin’ on YouTube, yo.” And I’d personally like to thank YouTube – and camera phones – for doing their part to publicly embarrass sex offenders. Woot, technology – bringin’ down the pervs!

I’m really a 16-year-old boy at heart

I’m totally not ashamed of my penchant for bodily humor. This scene is one of my faves and this episode magically appeared tonight to give me a much-needed post-family-Thanksgiving belly laugh. Every second is piss-yourself good.

You cannot know how crabby this makes me

This video makes me SICK. (See the last 30 seconds.) I literally screamed in my living room when I watched this unfold in front of my eyes. Because….

THIS WAS MY IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I suggested this back in FEBRUARY in a marketing meeting regarding a certain cell phone which shall remain unnamed, but which was targeted at a large segment of JF’s key demographic. Considering this *and* the fact that the 5MP and 8MP camera were key features of the two versions of the phone, I literally said:

“Jimmy asks three audience members to play a game called Cell Phone Shootout, where people take photos of rotating images of prizes on a screen. They win the prize they capture on their phone. The contestants always use their own cell phones to play the game, but…what if we sponsored the bit and had him pitch our phone AND he gave each contestant a phone to use when playing the game – which they’d also get to keep?”

I was immediately shut down, told this had never been done, and that we’d just stick to traditional TV spots.

Correct – it had NEVER been done. I’m sorry – when did this cease to be one of the operating principles of the company we all know I’m talking about?!!!

And now….well, see for yourself. Whoops.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

What’s on my mind

This, apparently. These words, these thoughts, these ideas. Or so Wordle tells me. Wordle creates “word clouds” from any website/blog/whatever – the clouds give greater prominence (i.e., larger font) to words that appear more frequently in the source text.

So do those words represent my general state o’ mind? You decide.

T-giving dessert dilemma

Oh boy. As if I needed to unearth another food/design blog. But it really is the best kind of lady porn.

It appears that La Tartine Gourmande has been in biz for at least five years and I’ve apparently been stone-cold passed out under the Fremont Troll. It reminds me of my all-time favorite food blog, Canelle et Vanille. But hey, there’s always room for a third. Menage a food trois.

However, LTG blogger Beatrice has introduced a question mark in my Thanksgiving preparations. That spiced apple and kasha crumble is just screaming for a starring role in the culinary line-up. I was planning to whip up Jen Worick’s lux-a-droolworthy sweet potato cheesecake, but something tells me my father’s arteries – and my ass – would favor fruity goodness.

Such a delicious decision.

End the Facebook friend bloat!

It’s about time Facebook got its own holiday.

Jimmy Kimmel, host of ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” has designated November 17th “National Unfriend Day,” urging all of us to scan that Facebook friend list and get rid of the extra baggage.

I conducted a significant Friend Purge two years ago and have never been happier with so few people in my network. I simply could no longer handle being bombarded every day with news about the toddler of someone I worked with (and barely, at that) five years ago. Someone who would make no effort to be in my life were it not for Facebook – and frankly neither would I – and who never commented on my posts, nor did I comment on hers, nor did I frankly give a shit and she probably didn’t either. People said, “So just hide her from your news feed,” but then wasn’t it also creepy that she had a window into MY world? So then it was, “Well, create different levels of friend lists and block her from seeing your posts.”

REALLY?! Are THESE the dilemmas we’re entertaining these days? We’re in the second worst recession in history, we’ve got lines around the block at food banks, AIDS-stricken women in Africa are being gang-banged until their vaginas fall out, and we’re creating DIFFERENT LEVELS OF FRIEND LISTS?!

Honest to God, people. If you can’t let someone fully into your life – or not at all – on a social networking site, you’ve got some big boundary questions to ask yourself. Do we really think deleting someone from Facebook speaks to our character? Are we THAT ridiculously insecure? I recently realized I hadn’t seen anything in the news feed from one of my friends (who is NOT an ex, just to put the question to rest right off the bat) and checked his profile page to see if he’d gone AWOL. Nope – I just can’t see his posts. Or most of his photos. I’ve clearly been demoted to the D List of his life. And in all honesty, I’d rather he delete me altogether. Because it’s more of a passive-aggressive bitch slap to put up a “No Trespassing” sign than it is to just fucking board up the place.

When I pruned my friend list, I set some guidelines for myself regarding who  made the cut: 1) people who are actively in my life on a regular basis, with whom I’d be in touch with or without Facebook, 2) people who have been in this category but whom I no longer see on a regular basis (generally due to geographical distance), and 3) people I’ve spent time with and just think are truly exceptional people. Considering that Oxford anthropologist Robin Dunbar tells us our brains can only handle 150 friendships at a time, I think I’m doing just fine at 132. But if Dunbar’s theory isn’t enough ammo for you, put Jimmy Kimmel’s litmus test into action: Post on Facebook that you’re moving on Saturday and need some help. You’ll have your answer soon enough.

Truth be told, I love technology. But let’s face it – its prevalence has driven many people to lose touch with what has true meaning in their lives. And *who* has true meaning in their lives. And what’s just white noise that keeps us a) procrastinating by wasting time on Facebook, b) believing all these people are truly our friends, or c) both a&b – all of which ultimately prevent us from asking ourselves tough questions about what we want from our time in this world and whether our lives are structured in a way that’s pushing us toward those things. And when it comes to the friend list, we need to remember that this isn’t fifth grade. Everybody doesn’t need to be our friend. It’s OK to lose touch with people. It’s OK to let them drift from your life – or cut them out entirely via a social networking site (say those last 10 words again – and remind yourself how utterly stupid it is that you even have this dilemma in your life). It doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t make them bad people, it doesn’t mean you don’t wish them well or have fond memories of the time you spent with them. What it does mean is that you honor the fact that people change and friendships change – and sometimes even fade away. As Eat, Pray, Love‘s Richard from Texas would say, “Send them some light and love every time you think about them, then drop it.”

So this Wednesday, November 17th – just drop ’em. And if you’re my Facebook friend and you decide to unfriend me, well…light and love to you. It was good while it lasted.

A very Theo holiday

What can I say – I love food. I love to cook, I love to bake, I love to eat. I once commented on a photo of myself taken when I was around 18 months old – rolls of baby fat spilling out the legs of my little red shorts and a mini muffin top popping up over my waistband. My mother just shrugged and said, “You were a good eater.”

Some things never change.

So imagine my sheer delight when I spotted the new Theo holiday bars at Whole Foods tonight!!!!!! Yes, they’re here in all their delicious minty, spicy, and buttery splendor: Peppermint Stick, Gingerbread Spice, and Milk & Cookies. There’s also Nutcracker Toffee, but I made myself stop at three bars.

And now – the taste test awaits. Hell, if I didn’t know better, I’d swear it was the day before my period. Wait…IT IS.

Oh, who gives a shit. Cheers!!

Holy sunburst, Batman!

That’s right, Robin – go ahead and share in the excitement over my having FINALLY found – just now, while I’m writing a letter to Ingersoll Rand retirees about their 2011 medical plan options (you can see why it’s easy to get distracted and instead shop online for home furnishings) – a sunburst mirror to hang above my fireplace. And it did NOT cost me the entire GDP of a developing country!

I’ve been hemming and hawing for a long time about what the hell to put over my mantel, but I had a moment of enlightenment during my August trip to Palm Springs. On my last morning there, I enjoyed a delicioso leisurely breakfast (OMG, was that food good – I actually took a picture of my mushroom and herb egg white omelette served alongside an arugula and tomato salad…holy jeepers) at the ungodly beautiful Viceroy Palm Springs. The photo above – of the poolside dining cabana (I’m already planning a dinner there for the April trip) – was my inspiration. Look at those sunbursts. Beyond stunning.

In all honesty, I knew I was in for a Viceroy designgasm before I even arrived, as I stayed at the Santa Monica property a few years ago and was in loooooove with the hotel’s unique touch courtesy of queen bee designer Kelly Wearstler. Kelly’s trademark is creating streamlined interiors based on neutral tones – like charcoal, sand, and white – then giving them a distinctive edge with jewel-toned accents: canary yellow, fresh-cut grass green, electric pink. The look is somehow elegant and fun at the same time (a philosophy I am ALL FOR).

Check out Kelly’s work at the Viceroy Palm Springs – the second photo is the Citron restaurant, where I had breakfast…so bright and shiny, I kid you not, it literally felt like sitting on the sun. And now I’ll have that burst-of-sun memory staring right at me in my living room. Sweet merry cheeriness.

More pics of my Palm Springs trip are here – best viewed in slideshow mode. The Del Marcos (most of those first pics) is where I stayed, in the Desert Oasis Deluxe suite. Mid-century modernist’s dream in every way. I spent a LOT of time in the pool and perched under those umbrellas (reading…ferociously). The Viceroy (and its breakfast of the gods) is at the end of the album. The Ask the Rabbi shot is for you, JB (he was taking questions at the Thursday night street fair :-)). And the Hal Linden Walk O’ Fame shot – that’s all yours, MKR (I mean, Barney). And I know, I know, Ms. M…sunburst mirrors are old hat. But I still love them.