My private parts are more notorious than me

So while trolling the internet to assemble clips for the soon-to-be-new-and-improved, I see that my bikini wax essay made a repeat appearance on Yahoo Shine last summer. “Back by popular demand!” it says. Duuuude.

I think the heir to this throne will be my experience attending the “How to Please Your Man” workshop in NYC. Alone. Because my friend ditched me. And I put a condom on a carrot with my mouth and wondered where the fuck I’d lost my dignity, while the instructor in a Wonder Woman belt extolled the virtues of the “connection” between a couple in the porno she was screening while we all worked our root vegetables.


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