My heart goes out to Alexa

Thank God she’s OK.

Dearest Alexa, in reading what you posted on your MySpace page, I must reassure you – honey, I have BEEN there. Am there. So many of us are. Indeed, it is a difficult dating world. You are DEFINITELY not alone there. I HATE it. It’s awful and brutal and can destroy your trust in others completely. I’ve had so many jarring, jaw-dropping experiences – and while I take only a few of them personally, they’ve all made me question the “goodness” of men. Even common courtesy, respect for others, and considering the consequences of your actions – basic pillars of  DECENCY – are lacking. I know the reverse is true as well – many men asking if there are any good women out there – but somehow the right people keep meeting the wrong people, time and time again. There are lessons to be learned through this, though I can’t yet articulate them.

It is a rough world when you’re single – rougher than I ever expected it would be. Especially for us homebodies/workaholics, for whom “going out” is equivalent to a root canal. Some of the most genuine, beautiful, warm-hearted people I know are single, mainly because they’re looking for a real connection and not just attention or validation. The latter is easy to get – a night of meaningless sex, a drinks date. If that’s all you want, you can find it. But it’s those of us who have experienced real love – and want it again – that feel lost. And it doesn’t help to be surrounded by couples and have people repeatedly cancel plans with you (it happened to me THREE times last week), which just makes you feel more rejected, more alone, and now – tada! – you also get yet another evening to yourself. It’s like the cherry on your lonely heart sundae. Maybe a night alone is a treat for people in a marriage or who have kids, but it’s really not for those of us who live (and work) alone. Believe me, I’m an only child, so I enjoy my own company, but no one wants to spend nearly 100% of their time solo. That’s my reality – and has been for the past five years.

I didn’t want to become this jaded person. I don’t want to be this jaded person. I’m working on filing the chip off my shoulder because I’m sure it’s sitting there in head-to-toe Dayglo (OH-so-alluring), but it’s going to take time.

And now, I’m going turn the page over to Alexa. Below is the excerpt from her MySpace blog – sounds frighteningly similar to what I’ve been saying for years, does it not?

“Just men. UGH!!! MEN!!!! I don’t like dating!!! Wish I could be in a relationship again without having to date… I HATE going out!! I’m a homebody and a workaholic… I don’t like going out and drinking to meet men!!! I always have to drag myself out the door to get up the motivation to go out, and when I do go out, I don’t meet anybody!!! Is anybody else finding it a difficult ‘dating world’ out there? I’m so terrible at dating– I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it! And I HATE the game-playing! Can’t stand it. I live in the greatest city in the world and I can’t seem to meet an interesting guy who also happens to be NICE.”

Um….YEAH. She’s the daughter of a supermodel and one of the greatest musicians of our time – and men still play games with her heart. It’s a toolchest out there, I tell ya.


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