The ultimate indecent proposal


“The links legend’s spouse is reportedly being paid a hefty seven-figure amount — immediately transferred into an account she alone controls — to stick with her husband.”

Seriously. If you have to pay your wife a million dollars to not leave your ass, you are a WORLD. CLASS. SHITBAG.

I am BEYOND disgusted with the seemingly increasing number of men – particularly those with fame, power, and money who clearly believe they’re superhuman and invincible – who are fooling around on their wives. Not to mention how many of them are doing it with whores. Spitzer, Sanford, A-Rod, and now horsey Mr. U.S. Open (My Pants in Vegas). Apparently he’s sufficiently “injured” from his recent car wreck – no doubt his wife taking a nine-iron not just to his face, but to his nuts – that he pulled out of his own tournament. I can think of a lot of other things he should pull out of.

I understand that men are wired to want to stick their schlong into everything that moves (and some stuff that doesn’t – like the hole in the wall at The Lusty Lady). What I don’t understand is when it became acceptable for them to actually do so with such frequency, in such droves, and with such disregard for their wives, their children, their vows. I’m not so naive that I believe affairs are a novel thing (I do watch “Mad Men”), but it’s one thing to bang the secretary in your immediate vicinity (note – I am in NO WAY condoning this…I’m just saying), and quite another to carry out your shady beeswax with prostitutes, strippers, and cocktail waitresses in other locales. I also know that for a hell of a lot of years, there were a good deal of men who had HONOR. Without a doubt, they noticed other women, but they kept it zipped for the sake of a quality that seems to have died out alongside acid-washed jeans – a little something known as INTEGRITY.

So what’s the problem? I truly believe, technophile that I am, that technology is largely to blame – namely the internet and the myriad ways we can now “reach out and touch” just about anyone. E-mail, texting, cell phones, and Facebook have made it a cinch to fuck around. Internet porn and, yes, shows like “Mad Men,” make it look like you can have the best of both worlds (and also that women’s bodies actually flex at unnatural angles). You can be a family man and a manwhore at the same time. I’d just like to know when so many men starting checking their honor at the door – and what it will take to make it de rigeur.

And, BTW, just because you’re not married doesn’t mean you’re exempt. If you’re fooling around with multiple women as a means to soothe your fragile, cracked ego – you suck too. So maybe it’s just a case of “once a fucktard, always a fucktard.” I weep for the future. And hope that I’m wrong.


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