Yes, really. Last night, I dreamt that a giant turtle was shagging my shin.
A few interpretations from the interwebs, where everything is of course completely accurate:
“To dream of seeing turtles signifies that an unusual incident will cause you enjoyment and improve your business conditions (radness galore). It also indicates a bright change if you ‘come out of your shell.'”
“To see a turtle in your dream symbolizes wisdom, faithfulness, longevity, and loyalty. It also suggests that you need to take things slow in some situation or relationship in your life (Slow??? A turtle was fucking my femur!!). With time, you will make steady progress.”
“The turtle is a feminine symbol associated with fertility, due to the shape of the turtle’s shell that contains life inside. Turtles are common symbols in the dreams of women who are expecting or actively trying to conceive.” (Uhhh….what?)
“Opportunity for advancement is available to you.” (Hells yeah. Bring it.)
Other thoughts, readers???
P.S. Do NOT send me that disturbing YouTube video of the turtle having sex with a shoe. I had not seen that any time recently, so please…just don’t even go there.